My name is Kristy and I am a hypochondriac.
I have been a hypochondriac since I was about 5 years old.
When I was in the first grade, I ended up in a Cardiologist's office because of chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was six years old.
I am deathly afraid of doctors.
Oh, and needles.
Once, when I was 8 years old, I had to get a shot of Penicillin for strep throat. But....my mom had her car keys hanging out of her lab coat (she's a nurse) so I grabbed the keys, ran out the door and locked myself in the car.
I still got that shot.
And a spanking.
I kicked a nurse across a room, and turned over a lab cart, when I was around 10, because they were trying to swab my throat.
I still got my throat swabbed.
And I got grounded.
And I had to write an apology letter to the nurse.
I admit it: I have issues.
I'm no better today.
I spend several hours a week on WebMD. And Google.
They are not a hypochondriac's friend.
In fact, they are wicked, evil enablers.
Last year, I had a twitch in my pinky finger. It lasted about a week.
I was convinced I had Parkinson's disease.
Why? Because Google said that a sudden, unexplained twitch in an appendage could be a symptom of Parkinson's Disease.
Guess what? I didn't have Parkinson's.
I've self diagnosed myself with so many ailments that it's not funny. No, seriously, it's not funny.
Just ask my mom. She's a nurse.
She gets very frustrated with me.
Like this morning.
My left leg went numb.
I went to WebMD (on my Droid phone. Because did you know that WebMD has a mobile APP?!? Well, they do. And, I have it on my phone. Enabling at it's finest).
I started up the symptom checker.
And then....that little orange button at the bottom of the screen? The one that says "View Possible Conditions"?
I pushed it.
And, I got a plethora of things that could be causing my numbness.
Some of them I couldn't pronounce, but I was CONVINCED I was having a mini-stroke.
I called my mom.
She sighed.
You know why my leg was numb?
My work boot was on too tight.
See?
I told you I have issues.
6 comments:
Bless your heart. This post made me laugh. I'm loving your new blog decor. It's simply fabulous dahling!
This really laughed hard at this because it sounds just like me. I had to delete the webmd app because I was convinced I had a brain tumor. I love following your blog and on twitter.
Omg I am laughing so hard, you are too funny! I too think WebMD is evil. I have convinced myself multiple times I had mono because of it.
Thanks so much for your sweet comments on my blog! I am still relatively new to the blogger community, but I'm loving it so far! Glad to hear people are reading and enjoying!
LOL!!!! I feel bad for you!! Stay off WebMD!!! It is bad, bad, bad!!!! I convinced my parents when I was little that my "breathing" changed and bc they didnt take me to the doc right away, they didnt care about me!!! This went on for quite some time! Finally went to doc. Nothing was wrong with me! So I can relate!
You and I are the same person! I'm terrible like that too!
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