Learning....

Ahh, the time right after Christmas. It's not my favorite, I'll be honest.

I get the "After-Christmas Blues".

It sucks.

I do get excited about new planners, a new year, a clean slate and pretty paper clips for said planner, but generally I just feel....

down.

Not depressed, just a little let down.

See, I love Christmas. So much! (Not more than Thanksgiving, but if you're me, they are one and the same).

I love the twinkling lights, the glittery decorations, the spangly tinsel and all of the magic that comes along with it.

And when all of the decorations are put away, it's sad. Things just look bare.

I love, more than anything, spending time with my family. My mommy, daddy, brother, sister in law, my precious grandma, Hot Police Boy and two most adorable loves of my life--my nephews.

The sun rises and sets in their sparkling eyes and I would go to the ends of the earth for both of them.

I feel like after Christmas it's a little...lonely.

This year, I've set some goals that I made mention to in a previous post and I intend to reach those goals, but....

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

A lot of thinking about who I am, what I want my life to be, and what kind of person I want to become.

My number goal, is to find ME. My real true self.

This is certainly a journey that will take a lifetime, but it's a journey I don't want to miss.

I'm learning to not be materialistic. In the end things don't really matter, do they? Will God really care who had the most pairs of fancy shoes or the most beautiful dresses? Will it really matter who had the latest "It Bag"?

I know, in my heart of hearts, that it won't. Those possessions will never bring true happiness.

I'm learning not to be competitive. I'm who God made me. There is no changing me.

I'm learning to embrace every wrinkle and laugh line, because some memory or smile put them there. On my face. And that's OK.

I'm not searching for the Fountain of Youth anymore. That is found in the age of my heart.

And I can tell you I feel like a 10 year old most days and I love that about myself. I hope I never, ever grow up, in that respect.

I could spend my days searching for the best cream, the best plastic surgeon or the new miracle drug that will make me look ten years younger, but at what cost?

The cost of my time? Time that I can never get back? Time that I could have been spending with my family and friends instead of trying to find something that really doesn't exist so that I can look like a non-authentic version of myself?

It's time to accept myself for who I am and stop being so critical.

I'm learning to be a better daughter. I am ridiculously attached to my mom and dad. They are my very best friends and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Time with them is precious and I never want to regret not spending as much time with them as I could have.

Nothing makes me happier than my daily phone calls with each of my parents. And by daily, I mean 5 times a day. Each.

I'm learning to be creative!

I'm learning not to take things for granted.

I'm learning that I am so, so blessed!

And that I am loved. By so many.

And really....what more can you ask for?

So, instead of feeling down I'm making it my goal to find the joy in every day.

Each day that I get to wake up and breathe air, is a gift. I could spend it being sad and wishing for things that aren't or....

I could get out there and enjoy this beautiful life that I've been given and make the most of each day!

And, that, my sweet friends, is exactly what I'm planning to do!