My current lease is up at my apartment on July 31st. My cousin (who is also my roommate) is moving out of state to go to law school. She and I have lived together for the past 5 years. My plan was to continue living in this complex, but move to a one bedroom. I LOVE my apartment complex! It is very, very nice (oak cabinets, crown molding, pool, pool house, post office, putting green, clubhouse, washer dryer, free wi-fi, great management and on top of that pretty darn affordable). Currently, I pay 300 a month for my half of the rent. We have a two bedroom, two bathroom. If I move into a one bedroom, I will be paying $475 (which I'm fine with).
Now, one of my co-workers is dating a girl, who has a sweet loft apartment. He contacted me and asked me if I'd be interested in seeing it as her roommate is moving out, and she needs a new roommate. I agreed to meet her, look at the apartment and make a decision. I met her today and saw the apartment. It is gorgeous and very hipster, yuppie, cool. But.....
1. The bedroom that would be mine has NO windows.
2. She has a dog, who was described to me to be small and calm. In real life, rather large and HYPER.
3. Said dog sheds like a son of gun!
4. There is a large (and hear me when I say LARGE) pine pole that comes down right in the middle of the room that would be mine.
5. The room is very small, but it has possibility. I have no idea how I'd fit my queen bed with furniture in there, but....
And now for the kicker.....MY EX LIVES THERE. As in Ex-husband. Who is mother freaking psycho. I can not go into detail on here about some of the things he did, and I know that everyone who gets divorced says there ex is crazy. But, mine did things AFTER we separated that you would NOT believe (which is why I won't go into detail about them here). He lives waaaaayyyyy, way across the building but still...I do NOT ever, ever care if I see him again, and I think I'd be sure to run into him there sometime (
I also feel like I'd be moving into HER apartment and wouldn't be really comfortable there (even though the place is amazingly beautiful). I guess I've really already made my decision, but I get the feeling my co-worker already pretty much told her I WAS going to be her new roommate. Which, by the way, I NEVER said. She was telling me, she'd get the paperwork together and call me tomorrow, working out details, blah blah. I kept saying: "So IF I decide to move in...." and then asking a question, but I felt like she just ignored me when I said that!
I really don't want to hurt her feelings, because she was super sweet, but frankly, I NEED a window in my bedroom! I just didn't get the "welcome home" vibe from the apartment. Hot Police Boy says I'm too territorial! HA! But, he did balk at the pine TREE in the middle of the room! I mean, what the hell would I do with that thing? He said put Christmas lights on it. Oy.
The price of this apartment would be around $450 a month with utilities included, so I would be saving about $100 a month by moving there. But, I'm in pretty good financial shape (thank you sweet Lord Jesus), so I'm fine with staying where I'm at.
So, if you read all of this you are a SAINT and you deserve a big ol' southern hug and a glass of sweet tea! Now, HOW DO I TELL THIS CHICK I AIN'T MOVING IN?!?!?!?
Smooches,
K~
P.S. I love, love, love dogs! Please don't misunderstand! I had a dog once. He died. It was like losing a child. I was devastated.
Also, divorce was never in the cards for me. I had a fairytale wedding that was beyond beautiful! But, there are more to marriages than pretty dresses and Virginia roses. I know that now. I wish I'd known that then. You live, you learn. The things I went through made me who I am today. And, if you knew me in real life...I'm pretty damn cool. Just sayin'.
P.S.S. This post is full of typos and punctuation error. I just don't feel like fixing them. Please forgive me (I did spell check though) :)
24 comments:
Don't put yourself in a crappy situation that you are apprehensive about just so you don't hurt some random girl's feelings. Your happiness is more important than her finding a roomie. She can find another one. :)
No way. No way. I loved living alone and would pay the extra money and deal with a smaller space to not have a roommate. I'd stay in the complex I loved, not have to deal with the roommate and her dog to have my space and my peace.
Just politely tell her thanks, but no thanks. No other explanation needed.
Do NOT worry about hurting someone else's feelings when it comes to your living circumstances. Just say straight up with NO hesitation that you have thought it over and you love where you live and you have lots of friends there, so you are just staying where you are! End of convo. She may try to give you all these reasons why you should move in with her, but just say well, you are sweet, but NO thanks. And if her b/f acts weird, just ignore him. Your happiness is what counts here!
Just tell her you've decided you want to live by yourself. End of story. Don't move in with her. You'll be miserable.
All of those cons for 100 bucks? I say no way. Just tell her thanks, but you are looking forward to living by yourself. You will never have another roommate...until you get married.
PAY the $475 to live by yourself. You dictate the rules. And by the way, my car payment is almost double ur rent...that's scary!
I would call or email her directly and just say that you weighed your options and decided to take a 1 bedroom. You are just ready to try living solo for a change of pace. Good luck!!
Just say, "Thank you for the offer, you are sweet and I don't want to hurt your feelings. But, you need a room mate more suited to your personality. I'm OCD and work odd hours. And, I don't feel comfortable living so close to my ex. I'm sure you understand."
Pink Owl, you are very intelligent, and make supervisory decisions daily. I know you know how to say "no". So I must ask, why would you want to leave such a fabulous apartment complex with HPB just across the way to be haunted by your ex? My advice, listen to your gut. Just pick up some OT hours if needed and stay where you are! Just my opinion.
Sounds like your mind is already made up. And for the record, I think it is well worth $100/month extra to live in a place that is your own.
Just be honest with her -- explain that you love her loft and it looks like a great place to live but that you don't think its optimal for you.
I DEFINITELY wouldn't be moving in there, I say you're just going to have to suck it up and tell her you prefer to live on your own. You need solitutde and your friend mis-represented your intentions. They may not like it, they may get mad, but so be it. It's YOUR life and YOUR happiness! Let me know how it works out.
P.S. Sorry about the marriage not working out :( That is one thing I had no idea about you!
Oh dear, my comment sounds tres' rude! I didn't mean "suck it up" meanly, It was just a figure of speech (and a BAD one at that!).
I would play up the 1) your bed won't fit 2) not comfortable living near ex 3) prefer to live where you do a.k.a. close to HPB!
I would simply tell her that I liked her (thought she was cool) but wouldn't feel comfortable there. No need to go into details. Tell her about your feelings for your current complex and HPB. She'll understand. Also, offer to help her find a new roommate. That should help softent the blow.
thank her for her sweet offer but tell her that you do not feel comfortable living that close to your ex, I'm sure she will understand that.
Luckily, this girl isn't really a friend of yours, so don't be afraid to hurt her feelings. Just be honest, and let her know you love your current apt. complex, and would rather just stay there. You don't owe her anything.
Tell her how wonderful her apartment is and how great it was of your friend to suggest you first. BUT with your roommate moving out, it's a perfect time for you to go it on your own. You need not feel guilty (although they may even try to make you feel that way). But the other blogger friend was right -- this is your life and life is too short to live in a room with a pine pole and a shedding, barking doggie. I think that the things you love about your current bldg will just be better when you're on your own. Happy Independence Day!
As another young and fabulous divorcee, I say STAY AWAY FROM wherever "he" lives. It's the best for you! Good luck!
Living on your own is a GOOD THING. No matter how old you are - you never feel truly like an adult until you live life in a home by yourslf - no roommate. You really learn to appreciate yourself (even if you think you do now, wait until you live alone).
Do not live near the Ex. Obviously it was traumatic and dramatic - never put yourself in a position that you would have to feel anything but joy and happiness.
Follow your heart and your "gut". The "gut" will never steer you wrong.
no. Don't do it. Get your own pad - you'll be sooooo thankful you did.
Maybe this new girl's old roomie is moving out because she is a nutjob. What if she & your co-worker have a falling out? Geez, what if you & her have a falling out? awkward!
Seriously - get your own place.
Sounds like you really would be much better off and happier living alone. I would probably emphasize the fact that your ex lives there and you would feel very uncomfortable like that...I think any girl would understand that, no questions asked!
Good luck!
I'd just be honest...(maybe not about the dog...people are so funny about their pets...pretend to love the dog)
My Legare is moving OUT of the three bedroom he's been in this year with roommates because he just wants his own space. To me, that's as much of an explanation as is required. If your co-worker implied that you WERE moving in...well...shame on said co-worker and if her feelings get hurt then you didn't need to have a roommate like that anyhow.
Good for you for being in a financial position that gives you options.
I would stay in the current complex and move into the one bedroom. I LOVED living alone in my little one bedroom apartment :)
I would use my ex as the "excuse". Like, if only he didn't live there it would be perfect...BUT...
Good Luck! You'll be so much happier living alone :o)
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