Ugh. I hate death. Hate it with a passion, and am honestly very afraid of it. For me, my family, my friends, their families etc. I just don't deal with it well (who does).
Tonight, while out to dinner with some friends I run into an acquaintance who proceeds to tell me that my best friend's dad had died. I literally felt sick to my stomach. I could not eat anymore.
The problem? I haven't talked to my best friend in two years. She still lives about 15 minutes from me. We never had a fight, a falling out or anything. She just stopped calling me or returning my calls about 2 years ago. We have been best friends since kindergarten. I miss her.
I, honestly, don't know what happened--other than she had a little girl. That is the only thing that changed. I still called her almost every day and she just started acting strange. She would either screen my calls or answer and say she'd call me back and not do it. I continued to call until one day I realized something had majorly changed and I just couldn't keep trying to be friends and getting rejected. She never called back to see why I stopped calling. It hurt. It still hurts.
But....I don't care about that right now. I am soooooo heartbroken for her. She is a daddy's girl just like me and we are still little girls--our daddy's little girls. I can not imagine what she's going through.
As soon as I got home, I checked the obituaries to make sure it was her dad. It was. I immediately sat down and wrote her a letter. I told her how sorry I was, that I was here for her no matter how much time had separated us. I told her I loved her and that I missed her. I gave her my phone number (though she already has it).
I don't know what to do. I don't want to call as he just died on Sunday and it's raw. She's very much like me in the fact that we turn inward in crisis. We aren't super emotional, hug it out kind of girls.
I am so upset that I missed the recieving of friends. There is not going to be a funeral at the wish of her late father. I have such fond memories of him. I called him "dad".
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12 comments:
I'm so sorry to read this, you have my condolences. I think sending a letter is lovely. Maybe follow it up with a phone call in a few days?
WOW! i would have to say the SAME thing happened to me and my BFF in Oregon years ago. Her and i were inseperable- they called us the weava sistas. She too did not talk to me for years and i didnt know why ( i think it was because i'd dated her bro, rejected his proposal and then married my husband and she wanted me with her bro) i too sat down and wrote her a long heartfelt email. We talk now thru text and email. But things will NEVER be the same with us. I think your email was perfect.. i would give it some more time- but i think the fact that you lent out a hand and sent something will mean something to her. Maybe now that she has lost someone so close to her she will realize that not talking to you was petty- keep me posted.. maybe even buy a little something and drop it off on her porch with a thinking about you note. ( or is that stalker-ish? i dunno.. i think it would be sweet cause you're going out of your way to buy it and drop it off) and maybe a little phone call or note or email to your own dad , if he's still in your life to tell him how much you appreciate him.
I really hope your week ends well- the sunshine is comin our way ;)
I am so sorry for your friend's loss and I think sending a letter is a great idea. in times like these people just want to know that they are loved and i think you're doing that.
Oh no, this is terrible. I am so sorry for you (and your friend also). You've reached out, that is all you can do.
I'm so sorry to hear about that. I think the letter was a great idea. Even if she doesn't respond you know you have done everything you could. I'll be thinking of you!
I think the letter you wrote was perfect. If you wanted to do something more, you could send a plant, flowers to her. Or you could arrange for a meal to be delivered to her later when all the food is gone, family is gone, etc. and there you sit all alone with your grief. I think you have truly reached out again and again. She knows you are there. You are a very good, loyal best friend. xoxo
Wow, what a tough thing to experience...both for her and you. And what a sad story of losing your best friend for no good reason. I hope that maybe your letter will trigger hur to rekindle your friendship.
Prayers for you and your friend and her family.
Oh I am so sorry!! You should definitely mail the letter. Perhaps instead of calling right now you could send a fruit basket or something else? I think everyone has been in your shoes at some point. It happens sometimes when life gets hectic. Good luck and keep us posted on the outcome.
my heart breaks for ur loss
I'm so sorry, I really hope the "silver lining" so to speak is that you may have the opportunity to reconnect with a best friend. I'm thinking about you :)
Sounds like you did the right thing, you reached out to her in a time of need. Hopefully she'll respond to you and realize what a good friend you truly are.
That is so sad! It was very sweet of you to take the time to sit down and handwrite a letter. I hope she calls when she is feeling better. Some people change when they get married and have children--they can become very consumed with their own life. Sad. :(
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